I have waited and waited and waited to post this blog because I have a lot to say and have not really been sure how too. This is going to be a little emotional and probably a lot of rambling. But I truly appreciate anyone who takes the time to read!
The end of January I hit a MAJOR milestone and celebrated 10 years of being in business. A milestone I have been so incredibly excited to hit and really wanted to celebrate with something HUGE. But as it approached I started to have a lot of questions about my purpose in life, the future of my business, and how I was feeling in general. For the last 10 years I have had hundreds of amazing clients come into my life and allow me to capture some of their big life moments and I have loved every second of it. Meeting new people, celebrating births, graduations, engagements, weddings, the list goes on. I have thrown myself 200% into my business and never once looked back. The hustle and bustle, the late nights, the tears, the pure joy of capturing new things, pouring my soul in every session I shoot, and watching families grow. It has been the BIGGEST blessing. I still cannot believe I have made this my life for 10 years. I was a kid fresh out of grad school with an expensive degree in a field I did not want to pursue, and no business experience. And yet I somehow was able to make this dream a reality. I am so incredibly grateful to those who have followed, hired, inspired, encouraged and supported me. SO when I didn’t feel like celebrating this major milestone I really needed to ask myself what the heck was going on and why I was feeling this way. Why after 10 amazing years did I not feel like celebrating? In fact I barely even announced it, which is unlike me to ignore such a big moment that I have worked this hard for.
Running a business comes with some unpleasant things that I often gloss over because of the amazing experiences I have had and the freedom I’ve had to raise my kid while working. But as time goes on those little things have built up and are starting to wear me down. If you know me at all you know my business was my first baby and in 10 years I have given EVERYTHING I am to succeed and to create. I have not slowed down since I started and each year I try to push myself more and more regardless of the added roles of mommy and wife, and to be perfectly honest I am beyond exhausted. I have hit a place where I feel like ive become a machine rather than Laura and my mental health has suffered, my overall health has taken a beating, and the fire that keeps me moving is starting to fizzle. I hate to admit that I feel so burnt out and in an effort to keep moving forward I have completely neglected in taking care of myself. Turning 37 this year also hit me like a ton of bricks and the realization that my daughter is almost in first grade has really put a lot of how ive been living into perspective. I feel guilty when I spend days editing or driving to sessions. I feel like weeks are gone in a blink and I am living in the “if I just get through this season I can relax.” But when I am out of those seasons I still find myself working and prepping for the next busy season and I never really get a chance to regroup. I have been living in survival mode and have forgotten what it was like to relax. My family has been through so much in the last 10 years and ive literally worked myself to the bone to help move through all those tough times that I dont even know how to relax anymore. I am so lucky that Jeremy is such a strong father and has been able to overcompensate for the days I am swamped. He really does not get enough credit but I truly would not be able to do this business without his support. And the last few years it really has not been fair to him or Finley that I am not showing up for them the way they always show up for me.
I know I have rambled on and you are probably thinking is she quitting!? And I am in NO WAY saying I am throwing in the towel. I love this business way too much that it physically hurts to admit how worn out I have become. BUT I know deep in my heart that it is time for me to majorly slow down. So what does this mean moving forward? It means I am limiting the number of sessions I can take per month and limiting my weekend availability for the foreseeable future. I have a few opportunities that I am super excited for and really just happy to be able to experience some new things. I am very much looking forward to stepping back a little bit and see what kind of creativity can arise from it. I know this is something I have needed to do and am thankful for everyone who has supported me so that I could make this happen. I look forward to seeing everyone who is currently on my calendar I know our sessions are going to be epic!! If you are interested in a session with me this year please reach out sooner than later so I can get you on the calendar!! Thank you for reading. And thank you for following along!!
<3 Laura
